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Fat Man’s Guide To Rock Climbing March 3, 2005

Posted by fajita in Uncategorized.

I climbed Suagr Loaf Mountain today. Idiot! Last time I did that I was 15 years younger and 40 pounds lighter. I’m fat compared to that college punk who did that a decade and a half ago. Here is what I learned about a fat man rock climbing:

1. Don’t

2. If you do, wear the right shoes.

3. Climb small mountains with easy inclines. Steep is bad.

4. Reserve the right to quit.

5. No matter what, you’re not a sissy. So be safe.

6. Failure is determined by injury, not how you got.

7. Don’t tell your spouse exactly how dangerous it was.

8. Stop lots of times to breathe. I mean huff and puff.

9. Face the fact that you cannot do what teenagers do – and make that your mark of wisdom.

10. Don’t look down.



1. Keith Brenton - March 3, 2005

Pinnacle Mountain in Little Rock is much easier! Come on down, Fajita; I’ll buy you a Starbucks coffee and we can commiserate about how young our knees used to be.

2. TCS - March 3, 2005

You should have seen this coming! How old are your kids? I have discovered two bits of wisdom lately. One is that trying to keep up with my 5 year old on a bicycle with training wheels, while going up and down our street is almost too much. And pitching batting practice to a bunch of 9-year-olds IS too much. It doesn’t matter how much you used to play. Maybe that is the lesson, Past performance is no guarantee of future ability. I guess if your like me its the 40 pounds that are getting you and not the years.

3. Greg Brooks - March 3, 2005

I was with Chris today, so I can add a couple of rules:

–If your goal is to pee off the mountaintop, you better start up before you feel the urge. Otherwise you’ll just have to pee halfway up. Your bladder is not as young as you think you are.

–What doesn’t seem steep on the way up will seem steep on the way down when your knees give out.

–Make sure you reserve the right to quit before you get to the part where if you quit, you will fall.

–Don’t tell your wife how dangerous it was, but be sure she knows what a stud you are.

4. Jema - March 3, 2005

I used to go to HU — Sugarloaf at 30+, yikes!

OT – why no RSS feed? I’d love to check back in and would like to add you to my RSS reader.

5. dredom man - March 3, 2005

nuf said.

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