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The Church Is In Crisis #3: Hocking Loogies May 18, 2005

Posted by fajita in Uncategorized.

Greg Rushing was famous in my neighborhood when I was in 3rd grade and he was in 5th grade. No one, I mean no one, in the Shannon Court Townhouses could match Greg in his ability to hock loogies.

I remember the day Eric challenged him to a contest, yes, a literal spitting match. They both stuffed as many pieces of Hubba Bubba in their mouths as they could on that fine June day in Minnesota. Then they climbed up on the wooden structure (can’t remember what in the world it was), lay on their bellies on top of this thing and did a simultaneous, “Ready, set, GO!”

Then they started spitting down the side of this wooden structure from the top. Loogie after loogie streamed down the wall of this structure they lay on. The rest of us cheered wildly for Eric. The first stream of spit to reach the ground indicated the winner, and loogie champ. We pulled for the underdog as Greg was undefeated in this glorious event.

In just a couple minutes (which is actually a long time to relentlessly spit repeatedly as fast as you can), it became clear that, once again, Greg Rushing could not be topped. He was in deed the Loogie King of Shannon Court.

Can we all agree that hocking loogies is disgusting, nothing to fight about, and an impressive waste of valuable body fluids? Isn’t the picture in your mind kind of repulsive? Does it make you want to hop up there and join these boys in their spitting match, or does it make you wish you had never even heard about it?

Granted, I know this kind of thing is attractive to some of you, but for the rest of us, we either never had an attraction to this or we grew out of it years and years ago.

So, what would you think if I said that this is what the church looks like to people who are watching from the sidelines?

When churches have their turf wars, theological debates, parade their affirmations, trumpet their declarations, dump valuable resources into proving the irrelevant, bicker, fight, split, and on and on and on, they are as appealing as a couple of immature boys hocking loogies for pride.

The church had better start caring what the world thinks of them.

“For God so loved the WORLD that He gave His only son…”



1. David U - May 19, 2005

Not a pleasant anology, but a very good one Chris! Sometimes it takes a shock like that to wake us up.

Keep preaching, brother!

2. Keith Brenton - May 19, 2005

I confess to watching “Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” a week and a half ago and being as depressed as Marvin the robot that the rest of the world views Christendom the same way I saw the followers of Humma Kavula … sitting in their chapel, waiting for the return of the Great Handkerchief.

3. Chad Nall - May 19, 2005

Last night I showed a segment from Amistad where the slave is looking at the pictures of the life of Christ. It was the life of Christ that compelled the slave to respond. Although just a movie, I have seen similar responses in the lives of others, especially those who never spent time in church. Although I know that God can work anyway he chooses, he seems to often choose to use his people to express himself in the world. Therefore, it seems we should carefully consider the image of Christ that is reflected in us, both when scattered in the world and assembled as a people of God. I pray that the Jesus I show others is as every bit compelling to others as the story was to the slave in Amistad.

4. Neal W. - May 19, 2005

Since we’re talking movies…anybody seen “Saved!” with Mandy Moore? I’d love to show it to my entire church. If people can be convinced (and some can’t be) that we DO need to worry about what the world thinks of us, then this movie might be the thing to do it. It might not be a realistic picture of who we are…but I think it’s a brilliant picture of how we are seen.

5. Fajita - May 19, 2005

Haven’t seen Saved. Probably need to in light of my loogie story.

6. DJG - May 20, 2005

I think I will link this post to my “40 Days of Fat”. It clearly will cause me to lose my appetite post-haste…. However, I do appreciate then analogy.

7. Hugo - May 20, 2005

I liked Saved – very irreverant look at some of the wierd theology and stuff taht we can fall into as Christians. Adn I liked your analogy – working with middle school kids, I felt quite at home with it! šŸ™‚

Blessings & Peace,

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