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Something’s abrew April 11, 2006

Posted by fajita in Uncategorized.

I get this way sometimes. I feel something inside of me – an angst – that is brewing, bubbling up. It feels like fear or anxiety, but I know that there is some meaning to it. It’s a bother that won’t go away.

I have been thinking about my children as of late, and maybe that is it. They are 6 & 8 years old. One of my fears is that they will grow up going to church and then dump it when they head off for college. Please understand that this is not a commentary on their character, nor is it a commentary on culture. Well, almost not a commentary on culture; it is a commentary on church culture.

When my children realize that some of what the church does is sinful, what are they going to do with that?

When my children ask me why no women are doing anything at worship service, what can I say?

When they realize that it is weird that at school there are children of various races, but there isn’t at church, what answer do I have to offer?

When my children realize that time and money are mostly used to perpetuate a denominational structure and little is used to help the poor, what will I say?

Or worse yet, what if my children never ask these questions?


1. Anonymous - April 11, 2006

Just my gut reaction (they’re valid questions, for certain)–don’t search for answers to those questions. Change the realities that bring some of the questions.

Three years ago (before my child was born) all those questions would have existed. Not now. Our congregation is as diverse as our community, and we value the various gifts every member brings to service in the kingdom…service that has more to do with the other 167 hours of the week than who’s “up front”.

Even then, there will be other questions, or maybe things just won’t change where you are quickly enough to prevent the questions. So, make sure you give them a biblical lense so that even if they see these things, they see them as weaknesses to be redeemed by the transforming power of God, not reasons to run away. Help them understand, none will inherit a perfect church from their parents, rather they will inherit a tradition of renewal, in which God will use their observations to help shape a better, more biblical future. Tell them they can be used by God as humble servants to be part of the solution.

2. Angie - April 11, 2006

I’m still working on what to do with all that myself. I should be thankful that I don’t have children to explain it to!

3. Joyce - April 11, 2006

I’m going to pop out of lurkdom to comment because you’ve hit something that concerns me greatly as well. I struggle with how to pass on to the kids that there are things I don’t agree with in our church without being so negative that I drive them away. Yet I don’t want to just silently let them soak up this church culture we have in the c of c and have them think I believe we’ve got it all right.

Our kids are all in their teens and we’ve been more actively working on being sure to expose them to Christians in other denominations, to churches where women are leading, as well as getting out as a family and volunteering to helpthose less fortunate than we — hoping to show them a better way. We have been explaining to them that even though we don’t agree with everything at our church that we choose to work there, hoping to be a good example to those we worship with.

Yet I still worry that it will not be enough to combat much of what they are exposed to at church. Somehow it just doesn’t seem right that we should have to be worrying about what they are learning at church.

4. Keith Brenton - April 11, 2006

Mine are 13 and 9. I’m still asking the same questions.

So I every night I pray them into God’s arms, and hope when they wake up they’ll stay there.

5. DJG - April 11, 2006

I have the same uneasiness today…can’t say that it is my kids brining it on…but I can’t put my finger on what it is!

Your kids will be fine….after all, we survived worse..(didn’t we?)

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