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Father’s Day is coming and I have no father June 16, 2006

Posted by fajita in family, Grief, Uncategorized.
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This will be my first Father’s Day without my father. I won’t call him this year and apologize for sending the card Saturday and that I swear he’ll love it on Tuesday when it finally arrives. I won’t talk to him on the phone for a few minutes sharing a funny story. I won’t tell him I wish I could be there. I won’t hear him say he loves me and that he is proud of me. I won’t hear his voice at all.

I am sad right now and I do not want it to be Father’s Day, even though I am a father of two wonderful children. I am not ready for a day of celebration in which I have no one to celebrate. I just want to wake up Monday and plug along.

Maybe if I get my sadness out between now and then, the actual day won’t be so bad.

I know he is alive, but I cannot grasp him. I know he is near, but I cannot feel him. I know that he is safe, but I do not feel safe. What I want is to be reunited, but I must wait. On days like today, I am already so sick of waiting.

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Comments»

1. Brandon - June 16, 2006

You’ll be here and we can both celebrate together and remember our dads. Man—I remember how that felt that first year. Just know that it gets easier. I can’t wait to see you tomorrow.
🙂
BST

2. Lee Hodges - June 16, 2006

It does get better. It was on Father’s Day in 1976 that my dad went to be with the Lord. The pain has turned to wonderful memories. I still have moments when the tears return, but hope brings a smile and a longing for home. That old dark valley doesn’t look as dark and long as it once did now that he is on the other side. God Bless my brother!

3. Clarissa - June 18, 2006

It hasn’t gotten better for me yet — this is my fourth one. I miss my Daddy. I know I’ll cry in church today.


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