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6 Months of grief September 29, 2006

Posted by fajita in General.

Yesterday amrked 6 months since my father died. Half a year. It’s different now than it was then. I still remember how he looked dying in the ICU. It’s the absolute saddest memory I ahve of him. Why that image comes up first in my memory marks my grief and where I am with it.

I have other memories of him. Lots of them. Good ones. But for now, the image at the ICU helps me, somehow.

I deleted his phone number from my cell phone this week. That was a tough one. It only took me 6 months to do that. Not sure what that means, but I think it means that I am moving forward with my grief.


Got the Affluenza? September 28, 2006

Posted by fajita in General.
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Are we consuming ourselves to death? What are the effects of being able to consume just about whatever we want whenever we want?

Do you suffer from Affluenza?

Actually, what I want to get at is not a personal thing here, but rather a chruch thing? Are our churches stricken with affluenza?

If so, what can be done?

I apologize for not reading YOUR blog September 27, 2006

Posted by fajita in General.

I have come to realize that my days of reading lots and lots of blogs will be placed on hold for a while. Doctoral studies are very demanding. Pumping out posts is tough enough.

It’s not that I don’t want to read your blog. Rather, it is that I am not graded nor paid to do so. Things that are not family related or paid or graded are losing their pull in my life.

Thanks for coming here, many of you daily. It means a lot to me. The fact that I am not lurking or commenting on your blog does not mean I don’t like your blog.

I will keep posting. I will post here a few times per week and then over at my other two blogs: Smart Stepfamilies and Flaming Pine Youth Camp. I hope you will continue to visit my blogs even though I am not currently able to give back.

The Sin of the Believers September 24, 2006

Posted by fajita in Bible/Meditations, Christianity, emerging church/emergent, Philosophy/Religion.
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In Joshua 22, we find Israel having completed the task of occupying the Promised Land. They were one people, following God’s plans, hearing god’s voice, and consulting God at every turn. Here we have Israel at he height of its power and obedience up to this point.

Three Israellite tribes, Gad, Reuben, and half of Manasseh decide to settle east of Jordan and erect a monument to show that they are faithful to God and with the rest of Israel. The rest of Israel doesn’t like it and instantly decides to kill the 3 tribes. They cite book chapter and verse why they should kill the 3 tribes. They want to keep Israel pure.

Fortunately, they had a talk and didn’t go to war.

Here’s the sin of the believer, the people who have been closest to God, the people who have lived most in god’s blessing and protection: bypassing God.

The 10 tribes bypassed God in assuming they knew what would please God. Only people so close to God can commit this kind of sin. When people get too comfy cozy with God such that they can make decision for God without consulting God, there is bound to be trouble.

Ever seen this sin?

I Wish I Could Give You My Eyes September 23, 2006

Posted by fajita in General.

My brother-in-law, David, is terminal with cancer. In fact, he has probably surpasses his life expectancy. We envy your prayers. David is in a nursing home and is being watched over by his parents. His my (my wonderful mother-in-law) spends lots of time with him. Her eyesight is next to gone with macular degeneration. David’s eyes are perfect.

They were talking the other day as David knows that each day could be his last. He was speaking about dying and took compassion on his mother and her eyesight as he sai, “Mom, I wish I could give you my eyes.”


What Is The Deal? September 22, 2006

Posted by fajita in General.

Every time I think that we are beyond this kind of thing, a story like this one shows up.

Dr. Rosenblatt is famous – “Two in a bed” September 22, 2006

Posted by fajita in Book Reviews, Family Science, Sex.

One of the profs who teaches in the Family Social Science program I am enrolled in has just released a book that is getting a ton of press. The book is called, “Two in a Bed.” He’s been featured in the NYTimes, on radio and TV shows (Good Morning America methinks) and even in some international media outlets.

Amazon will share the table of contents with you here, an excerpt here, and a you can buy it here.

Had We Not Gone To War September 21, 2006

Posted by fajita in 9/11, General.

Obviously this conversation is moot. There is no going back. First of all, I don’t really know where I stand. When we went into Afghanistan, I was for it. When we went into Iraq, I was for it. But what a difference all these years make. It’s not that I am convinced that it was wrong (afghanistan or iraq), though I have my very serious concerns. My thinking goes in a different direction.

OK, let’s see if I can put into words what I intend to say. Could it be that the United States missed an opportunity to teach the world about the strength of our restraint rather than the strength of our might? Please, don’t hear me say “We should have done nothing.” If you go there, you’re not following me. I am not saying that we should be weak, rather I am saying that there is more than one way to be strong.

I think that 9/11 was so huge and so obviosuly painful that no one could ignore it. It was a different thing than all of the other attacks we’ve ever faced before – put togehter I would argue (and win). Since it was so huge, I believe that not taking a military response could have been framed in many ways other than weak.

I know that people are going to say that not responding militarily would invite more attacks, and maybe that is so. But we don’t know that. In fact, it’s a pretty huge assumption. Not responding could have given us leverage with the international communtiy. It could be that the world has been waiting for American power to be expressed through American restraint. Maybe the world is watching America to see how to use its power.

OK, here is what think would have happened:

1. Americans would have demanded an attack

2. When Bush didn’t attack, Republicans would have been beside themselves

3. America would not have been attacked because international securty would be where it is right now.

4. Democrats would have become more hawkish on war and talk of impeachment would rattle through the capital – but it wouldn’t happen.

5. Bush would not get re-elected.

6. Saddam Hussein would be all talk.

7. Iran and North Korea would be crazy still, but not as crazy as they are now.

8. Hugo Chavez would not be shooting his mouth off so much, and if he was, then no one would listen to him because international anti-american rhetoric would not be in vogue or even tasteful except for the super duper freaks.

9. And finally, Cubs win the World Series.

OK, tear me up.

Let’s Try It Again September 18, 2006

Posted by fajita in 9/11, politics.

Had America not responded, what would have happened?

What if… September 17, 2006

Posted by fajita in 9/11, Christianity, politics.

On September 11th, 2001, America was attacked by terrorists. Planes hit the World Trade Center, the Pentegon and another plane crashed. Thousands or Americans were killed. 

The enemy was instantly identified as Al-Qaeda and Osama Bin Laden. So, the president ordered and attack on Afghanistan. In an effort to destroy terrorism, the president ordered a controversial attack on Iraq. Five years later, Americans still fight on those places – two of the most dangerous places on earth.

What do you suppose would have happened if instead of attacking these countries and occupying them, the Unites States turned the other cheek? What if Americans, who were receiving the sympathies of almost the entire world, made a clear statement that we are not about violence, death and murder, but are instead about reconciliation, forgiveness, and love? What if Americans had demanded that our president forgive the aggressors?  

What if we poured our energies into security and defense, but refused to be seduced into an aggressive posture? What if we refused to respond with force?

These are not rhetorical questions. I really want to know what you honestly believe our reality would be now 5 years later had we not attacked back.

I don’t presuppose any answers and I am not looking for anything specific besides what you really believe.

Would not attacking back have been a disaster? Would it have been an opportunity for the world to be impressed by our love? What do you think?